She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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