Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
nutella sex= disaster
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
