Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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