is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
