youre lurking in front of me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Less talking, more tequila
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize