How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
