Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
