someone owes me an orgasm
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
