just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
