take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
