So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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