Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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