We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am mentally ready for anal.
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