He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
