Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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