hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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