I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
