10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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