My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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