sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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