SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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