But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
