I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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