Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
