Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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