i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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