saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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