Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
