Whoa Z and x make the same sound
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
