dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize