My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
