Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
