my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
