Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.