I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We need to get me chipped asap
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends