you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum