well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
