SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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