She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
