I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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