I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
MIDGETS
????
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
