Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
