It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
