doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
