the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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