I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
