We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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