yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
