Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
