it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
