Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My balls are so social today.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When are your genitals available?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How naked do you want me to be?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
