my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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