So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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