i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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