We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
