a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize