there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize