Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
whose parrot is this?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
