Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
