I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
